Maybe you had an argument before they died. Or regret something you said or did. There might be something you wish you could've done. It's normal to be left with these difficult feelings. But it's important not to blame yourself. Would they want you to feel responsible for things in the past that can no longer be changed?
What might they say to you if they were still able to talk to you?
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It may seem like everything has changed very suddenly, or you might not know what's going to happen next. This can feel very scary. You might also be worried about practical things like money or where you're going to live. Things may not be the same. But that doesn't mean things won't get easier or less scary in the future. Some young people get scared that someone else will die as well. Sharing your fears with someone you trust can help to make you feel more secure when things are feeling difficult. If someone was very ill or suffering you might feel relief that their pain has stopped. You might feel relieved or happy if someone who was hurting you or abusing you has died.
Your thoughts and feelings are normal. You might feel like life has no meaning anymore and you don't know how to go on. You may feel that you want to be with the person who has died. Be patient — in time you may find it is easier to cope. Read about coping with depression. If someone else is grieving too you might not want to bother them. But sharing your feelings can really help. And you only need to tell people what you feel comfortable sharing. You could try talking to:. They may be able to give you some support with getting through the first few months as you adjust to such a big change.
Need to talk? Get in touch.
How to Find Out if Someone Died in Your House
A funeral is a ceremony for friends and family to celebrate the life of the person who has died and to say goodbye to them. There are lots of different kinds of funeral. People might say a little about the person who died or there might be music or poetry. Funerals can be religious and they might involve prayers but they don't have to be.
After a funeral, the person who died will often be buried or cremated. Going to a funeral might feel scary or overwhelming, especially if it's for someone you were close to. You might not be sure if you want to go or if you'll be allowed to. But if you do decide to go, it can help you to say goodbye to someone who has died. It's important to think about whether you would like to go to a funeral. You could decide to go for the whole thing or just part of the ceremony.
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Sometimes it can help to ask an adult you trust or a friend to help support you on the day or answer questions if you're not sure what to do. If you don't want to go, or you're not allowed, it can sometimes help to have a say in what happens at the funeral. You could suggest a song or poem that the person who died would have liked, or help plan what will happen. At a cremation, the coffin will be taken away at the end of the service either behind a curtain or lowered down.
The coffin and the body will be burned until only ashes remain. The family will be given the ashes later on.
It's important to be present and listen
Some people keep the ashes in an urn, others might choose to bury or scatter them somewhere special. Cremations and burials can bring up lots of feelings. Lots of people worry about forgetting someone who has died. You can keep these in a box or a safe place and take out a reminder any time you want.
You might want to visit the grave or the place the ashes were scattered. But sometimes this can feel scary. You may find that birthdays and special events are times when you miss them most. But doing something to remember them on the day can really help. Someone dying can affect you no matter how it happens.
But when someone takes their own life it can feel even more difficult to cope. You might be:. It can be really difficult if you find out that one of your online friends has died. You might feel very upset but find it hard to explain this to others. But losing an online friend, especially one that you felt close to, can bring about the same feelings of loss and grief as losing a friend you know in person.
If this happens, you might find it helpful to speak to other people who were also online friends with them.
How to Find a Will for Someone Who Has Died | LegalZoom Legal Info
Childline counsellors are here to listen to you and support you. Speak to an adult you trust about helping you to find 3 small stones — a smooth stone, a rough stone and a gemstone. Keep all of the stones together somewhere safe. When you feel ready you could show the stones to an adult you trust to share the different memories or tell a Childline counsellor about them.
Talking about what each of the stones represent can help you feel able to hold the stones in one hand together. It can remind you that even with the difficult memories you can still have the ordinary and special memories too. It can take time to find the words and to begin to understand what has happened. But Childline is here to talk to you any time.
It can be hard for you when a family member or friend is finding it difficult to cope with the death of someone. You can try:. Find out more about supporting a friend. There are lots of ways someone might feel like they've lost someone or something, even when nobody's died.
You might:. Losing someone or something can bring up many of the same feelings as when someone has died.
Especially if you can't talk to the person you've lost. Whatever's happened, it can really help to talk about how you're feeling to someone you trust or with Childline. If you're struggling, sometimes it can help to create something in the Art box. Thanks for giving us feedback!
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When someone dies When someone dies, there's no right or wrong way to feel. On this page How to cope when someone dies Reactions to losing someone you love Who you can talk to Saying goodbye Losing someone to suicide Creating memory stones. Grieving and dealing with loss The death of someone you care about can be very difficult. You might feel: like you can't handle things confused scared, numb or that you've lost control worried that you may never feel okay again.